God’s Plan
Or, God’s Plan for your life while you are on Earth.
This letter is for people who claim Christ as their Savior.
Hopefully this will get us out of the self-help and deep longing phases that lead to usually nothing. Here it is:
You do what you believe is best, and then you die.
That’s all.
What You Do is What You Believe
“No, I believe the children who have no food in Haiti are worth saving but that’s not what I do each day.”
You may believe any number of things but what you do is what you believe.
I can tell you that honestly, I believe music can change people and impact their lives in a powerful way. But each day I choose to go into an office and do work that pays me enough to allow my family to live in a home, eat what we want, and buy things. What I believe is best, as evidenced by my life’s actions, is security, comfort, and predictability.
I can read all the self-help books and pray for God to reveal Himself to me but I’m giving Him a very limited canvas.
“Lord, give me a heart for the poor and destitute (even though I will spend no time with them on my own volition nor seek them out even if they were right in front of me).”
He can certainly give me that heart. I can also wake up and realize that I already know that God’s heart is for the poor and destitute and that I would see Him there. But what I believe is best is comfort, security, and predictability.
He has shown my continuously that He loves us all and desires for us to love people. If I TRULY believed that with all of my being, my life would look different. Looking at my actions, I would say I believe that with 30% of my being.
“Ouch! Who are you to condemn me?! I love my neighbor, I have the guys over for dinner during the week. I lead Bible Study. I love people.”
GOOD! I’m not condemning or pointing fingers. I’m saying that what we do is what we believe to be the best for us (or those we love). Or else we wouldn’t do it. If it makes you uncomfortable or seem like less of a “good” person, that is a conflict that the Lord loves to bring you through as you begin to recognize it.
What is Best
Using myself as the example again, I believe a number of things. But I don’t (and you shouldn’t) really care about the things that I don’t take action on. You can believe the planet will end in two years. If you do nothing and say, “oh well, nothing I can do, I’ll just keep living” then you have done something about it. It’s an actual belief. Accepting a situation and living life through in that situation shows what you believe. Changing the situation or choosing to live in another situation also shows what you believe.
I take action on the things that I conclude will be for my best (or for the best of those I love).
I can believe that carbon fuels are to the detriment of the planet and my family. If I continue to drive my car that requires gasoline to run, it’s not a belief that I own. It’s a thought I have. If I really believed it, I would do something about it. Sure, I could drive less and have less of a carbon footprint, but I’m still contributing.
Where is God in This?
Fantastic question. God has revealed Himself to anyone who wants to know Him. We have the Bible, we have people who have had their lives changed in knowing Him, etc. There are literally millions of living breathing examples of who God is and what is important to Him.
Love God and love your neighbor. All of the words in the Bible boil down to those two points of action for people that are alive on Earth. (Matthew 22:36-40)
“What is God’s plan for my life?”
Do what you believe is best, and then you die.
If you believe that God is who He says He is, then what you believe is best would be to love God and love your neighbor. That’s it.
The Bible doesn’t talk about which 401K will give you the best option for living on your own island at age 53. Because that DOES NOT MATTER.
Love God and love your neighbor. Loving your family means trusting that the Lord will provide and responding to His gifts. His gift to you could be your knack with numbers and the subsequent jobs that correlate to that knack. His gift to you could be a home. His gift to you could be the lack of functioning legs and the dependence on others for seemingly easy tasks. His gift to you could be unemployment for months and months.
After my wife and I found out we were expecting our first child I prayed for a raise and a home where we could “raise our child.” This was perfectly acceptable in my eyes and the majority of Christians in America would agree. The Lord answered my prayer: “No, and no.” I kept the same job, didn’t get the raise I prayed for and ended up living with friends of ours.
That answer to prayer changed what I believed was the best. In March of 2008 I believed the “best” was a home that I owned and a job that offered me the opportunity to afford that home and all that comes with it. By May of 2008 we were living with people that genuinely loved us, supported us, and were selfless in their demonstration of that Love. It. Was. Awesome.
The time came for us to move on (notice that people were often moving on in the Bible). I prayed for stability as we had a child and I wanted to be able to take care of my family (implicitly believing that *I* was taking care of them).
I lost my job. 10 years and then gone.
Having walked through some crazy situations with the Lord and seeing His Glory in all of it, I was ecstatic! I knew that He would come through and that it would be awesome.
Then I started praying. And it was clear I did not actually believe the things that I had learned. My prayer was, “Lord, give me a new job where I can afford a home in the area I want to live in and that will allow me to take care of my family.”
When I prayed like that I was essentially saying, “I believe that this is the way to go through life and I would like you to grant me that life.”
This time He said, “Sure thing!” I now have a job that pays me enough to afford the home that we ended up getting (that’s a whole ‘nother letter) and I work with fantastic people on projects that genuinely have the ability to help others.
I’ve been at the job for over a year and in the house for almost a year. Our oldest is two years old and, Lord-willing, our second child will be here in October. We have two vehicles between my wife and I and we can get anywhere we need to with general ease. For all intents and purposes, God gave me EXACTLY the life for which I asked.
The life I prayed for I now realize is not the best.
Purusing the Best
When I say it’s not the best, please understand that I have been blessed with the perfect wife for me. I have an amazing two year old who is healthy. The people I work with are wonderful people. All of the humans in my life are exactly what they need to be for me to feel loved, cared for, and challenged.
The problem isn’t the people. The problem isn’t the house and the job.
The problem is I limited God and he graciously granted my request.
Love God and love your neighbor.
You’ll remember in none of my prayers did I pray for the opportunity to love my neighbor, implicitly or explicitly.
What I asked for were shackles (monetary obligations and commitments) and false security (a job).
Most rational people would agree that shackles and false security are not “the best.” My personality and learning type is such that I have to hear and do something before I learn it.
I’ve learned that I did not hold out for the best.
I’ve learned that I’m living for what I believed to be the best but that I was off in my beliefs.
That’s the Point
And that is the point. To live this life well and to learn from living. I posited that you live each day for what you believe is best (by doing what you do) and then you die.
I mentioned this letter was directed at people who claim Christ as Savior. As such, what happens after you die is taken care of. It’s what you do while you are here that most of us are curious about.
It’s why we pray, “Lord, reveal your plan for my life.”
Most often we want that answer to be, “I’ve hooked you up with a beach house in California and a steady paying gig that takes care of the bills and you’ll be doing work you enjoy.” (Obviously switch out your locale, type of house, etc for the places and things you long for).
We’re looking for permission to do the things we want to do while feeling obligated to live a life that isn’t *quite* what we want.
We are built to try and reject things until we find that which satisfies indefinitely. You experience God best when you interact with human beings and selflessly love them. You will be satisfied indefinitely if you Love God and love your neighbor while you are on Earth. You don’t need God to “reveal His Plans for your life.” He already did. Love Him, love your neighbor.
Do you do that on a boat in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea or a shack in Kansas? IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER. Comforts are fake. A nice couch will, in time, leave you feeling complacent. Heating and air-conditioning are wonderful but will eventually feel stifling and you will need fresh air. A house that has a ton of space is wonderful until you have to heat it, repair it, make it nicer, and you often wind up feeling it is too small. Or too big.
Either way, praying for a kind of house, a specific place to live, a type of job, a pay range, and the like are all ways of asking God to limit Himself to your detriment.
The point of this life is to constantly be reminded of who God is (literally, Love) in such a way that it transforms you into a container of Love for others. Where you live, how much you make, your importance, etc., are all concerns for the dying.
You do what you believe is best, and then you die.
Until you believe that Loving God and Loving your neighbor is what’s best, life on this Earth will feel empty and worthless. Until that belief shapes your prayers, you will likely be praying for the wrong things.
Until your daily activities demonstrate Love, it will feel, rightly so, that you aren’t doing anything worthwhile.
When you do is what you believe.
When you love God and love your neighbor, you will find you are living God’s plan for your life.
“God, may others see your Love through the life I live.”
Revelation and Reality
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about what my “dream job” would be and it hit me this morning.
Full-time member of a HBCU marching band.
Crap.
Back to clickety-clacking on this keyboard.
Assimilation < / shudder >
Dear Christian Churches I’ve attended,
If I am visiting your church, rest assured that I will not feel comfortable if there is someone on staff there whose job is to assimilate me.
I know Rick Warren used it in his globally-popular book.
If I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, I would assume that you want me to feel comfortable becoming a part of your experience, culture, and service (in any of its forms).
If I were walking in the door with any sort of chip on my shoulder, and I found out someone was trying to “absorb and integrate [me] into [their] society or culture” I would be suspect of the motives and the need.
I’ve been through enough in life and with Jesus that I’m not looking to be absorbed or integrated into any “thing”. If you would like to accept who I am and allow me the same towards you and your culture, that is fantastic. If I choose to adapt your customs and your specific traditions, that is my choice and is merely a social choice in a finite system.
But please, please, please know that assimilation is an ugly word to me and I believe that I am not alone in that.
Instead of assimilating me, try accepting me. It is true that Jesus accepts as as we are but loves us too much to keep us that way. You are not Jesus. You are His followers. Let Him change me in His time and plan. You can certainly help; be His love. That’s all we’re called to be anyways.
Hustle
Let’s go on a journey.
Yesterday, I needed one document notarized. I went to four places before it was complete.
1. Branch Office of International Ship/Copy/Print Service
A new office with a helpful looking gentleman. They were my first choice as they advertised this service on their website and they are close to my office.
Me: “Hi, do you have notary public services?”
Him: “Oh, we stopped offering that earlier this year. You can try ***** Bank down the way or ***** Bank across the street, they may have it.”
Takeaway - It’s not profitable for us but we’ll at least point you somewhere else (which I really did appreciate).
2. Branch Office of Large Bank
It is a new office, looks nice, everyone smiles.
Me: “Hi, do you all have notary public services?”
Her: “Hmm, umm, oohh, yess, umm, but, yes she’s out for lunch and will be back in 30 mins.”
Takeaway - We charge a $2 fee per document; it’s not profitable for us to have more than one person as a notary.
3. Branch Office of Other Large Bank
It is a an old office, looks Government-y.
Me: “Hi, do you all have notary public services.”
Him: “Absolutely sir! You have an account with us, right?”
Me: “No.”
Him: “Oh, I’m sorry, we only offer that for members.”
Me (inside my head): “It’s a stamp on a piece of paper.”
Me (to the gentleman): “Even for a fee? I’d be willing to pay a fee.”
Him: “I’m sorry sir, we only offer that if you have an account. There is a print/shipping service in the corner of this mall if you’d like to try them.”
Takeaway - We’d rather pressure you into being a member than to have you actually appreciate us and draw you away from your current bank with our awesomeness. (I did appreciate the suggestion for another place, though.)
4. Small Two-Person Business in Corner of Strip Mall
This place sells EVERYTHING. Bras, shoes, pants, lotto tickets, international music, CD/DVD rentals, calling cards, print services,EVERYTHING. And it is a hole in the wall.
Me: “Do you all have Notary Public Services?”
Her: “Yes.”
She sits down, pulls out her book, takes my piece of paper, asks for my ID, reviews, signs the paper and fills out her registry.
Me, without being prompted: “Thank you! How much will that be?”
Her: “$5.”
Me, happily: “Here ya go!”
Takeaway - They are in business to make money. Not to have rules or bureaucracy or to be snobs. If you need something, and you’ll pay for it, they will get. It. Done.
Guess which one of these four business models is my favorite?
At this time…
It took one bad breakup in college for me to be on the disappointed side of the following lesson.
It took one more breakup in college for me to realize I was then the one doing the misleading.
If you are not interested in something/someone and you know you aren’t, do not soften the blow with “right now” or “at this time.”
Examples -
What you say:
“I just don’t have a place for this relationship in my life right now.”
What they may hear:
“Let’s talk again in 3 months/after summer break/when you get back from your trip and see if we can work this out.”
What you say:
“I’m not interested in that widget/whatsit at this time.”
What they may hear:
“Great, I’ll call you again in 2 days and try to make the same offer at another time.”
If you know you aren’t interested in something/someone speak up for yourself. (Actually, that’s a great lesson as well. Speak up for yourself! And others! There needs to be more speaking up. \soapbox ). It frees the other person to move on (when they are ready). This works for relationships AND sales. The bf/gf/etc can move on emotionally etc., and the sales person doesn’t have to waste your time nor their time calling someone who is really not interested.
Targets
Alternate post title, “Goals.”
When I was a co-director of a church choir, we had a difficult time getting some people to show up for practice. We live outside of DC and, as you may or may not know, this area is ALWAYS BUSY. Always going. Always on to the next thing. So our first theory was, “Hey, let’s have an agreement, signed, stating people will be here for practice and performance and if they miss a few times let’s talk about future participation.” Boil it down, miss three and you’re out. Unless you were sick twice and someone died once. You get the general concept, I’m sure.
It kind of worked but I felt like a jail warden instead of the servant inspirer of a creative volunteer group. I talked to my co-director and we decided, “Hey, we’re all adults. If you want to be here, be here. If you don’t, then you’ve made you’re choice and then don’t come at all. No one benefits from partial participation.”
That failed.
FAIL.
People didn’t show up. (Most did. But it still reduced the population.)
A genius prophet friend of mine offered, “Dude, adults still need goals. Something to aim for. Telling them you expect full participation and then holding them accountable to that is a GOOD plan. It’s not warden-like. It’s how people work.”
I, of course, was not in a place to do anything about the policies at this point as I had since left the post.
Speaking of leaving a post, I said all of that to say this.
I still think I was right. And here’s why…
I wanted people to be a part of that organization because to NOT be a part of it would be unnatural. To NOT come to practice would sting and leave them without the high of being creative and collaborative and living life with others in that peculiar way.
The entire experience was a life blessing and few experiences will match it.
But with years of hindsight, maturity and new life happening to me I can very clearly say…that experience would have scarred people in the best way possible with the mark of greatness had I stuck to my guns. Or if I would have understood my guns.
People, I want to do life with you. But I only want to do what I love. And I only want you to do what you love. And where our passions meet, we will make beautiful things, experience rich life, and fall asleep each night exhausted on our pillows/couches/floors, having spent ourselves in spite of ourselves.
Pop
This morning I looked at the button of my pants because something seemed awry.
Alas, the button was only holding on with a few strong strands of thread around only two (2) of the four buttonholes.
“No worries,” thinks I. “T’will last me near the whole day.”
Time passes.
2:03 PM. I feel a pleasant release around my waistline only to find the button is no longer attached to the pants.
“Fair enough,” I say aloud, to no one.
Then I look at the button. IT BROKE! The thread did not come undone. The button’s structural integrity gave in and IT BROKE.
For shame. For shame.
Lettuce, I’m coming back to you.
Auto
Something remarkable happened (I can’t say when).
I was goofing around and getting lolz from the nets when my mouse hand veered to a folder in my toolbar and clicked on it.
Next thing I know I’m opening all of the programs needed for me to get things done and I don’t remember instigating the body into those motions.
My brain HIJACKED my goofing around time and turned it into productivity.
Note to brain, you’ve been promoted. Take over like that ANYTIME you want.
Win.
